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Monday 16 July 2012

Starting the 21-Day Meditation Challenge

Today is the first day of the Chopra Centre 21-Day Meditation Challenge and the theme for this summer challenge is love.  Hmmm, thought I when I first heard about it but from the intro by Deepak Chopra it sounds very interesting. 

Meditation is something that I love to do, but I don't really do it for very long or at a set time.  Today is the first day I don't have to be at work until early September - one of the good things about working term-time only in an educational establishment - so I am challenging myself to do the meditation in the morning.  This might actually be a really good time to meditate for me as when the new academic year starts in September I will not be starting work until 2pm.  As I usually wake up early and find it hard to laze in bed these days (unless I have zonked out the night before and can't wake up early) it will be good to meditate, have breakfast and get on with the day.  I wasn't too sure what time the meditation would be arriving in my Email account, but it would appear to be about 7am here in the UK.

I was actually up about 5am this morning because I went to bed so early last night.  I am trying to break the habit of waking up about 3am which has partly become a habit from having a snooze in the late afternoon, or early evening.  Last night I managed to hold out until I was falling asleep at the mouse, so to speak.  Maybe I also slept better because I did a half hour meditation last night; spurred on my the thought of the start of the 21-Day Challenge.

Sometime I think that one of the reasons I find it difficult to get into a routine of doing longer meditations is because I feel as though I get 'lost' in them and then don't want to get on with anything else.  The micro-meditations that I do a lot are about concentrating on my breathing to centre myself again, but with a longer meditation I feel as though I can disappear into a white bubble where I can release the physical pain that I may be feeling, but also have the ability to experience just this very moment.  So why am I so reluctant to commit to this?

One reason could be that I don't truly believe that I am worth spending the time on.  I don't think of myself as being important and I suppose I really did believe it when my father told me I would never be anything or succeed at anything.  How powerful these memories can be to be able to pull you back to a moment in your childhood when a parent who has been dead for 34 years confimed your impression that you were noone.  I still have to remind myself that I am worth the time to do things that make me feel complete and worthy.  As the advert says 'because I'm worth it'.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Vicki,
    Have to respond because I was saddened to realise that you are unaware just how special you are!!! OMG the sins of our parents...I spent a life time trying to impress my own father, all I wanted was acknowledgement that I existed but he couldn't see passed the oldest brother and he couldn't relate to females. While it gave me strength to achieve regardless it ate me inside all my life. BUT the past is just that passed!!! You are a wonderful human being...if you get the chance please read about Anita Moorjani who almost died from her cancer. There are quite a few video clips of her doing interviews with various people - well worth watching. She tells everyone that they are magnificent being just the way they are... it's very uplifting!!!
    Can I alos suggest that there are some great talks on ConsciousTV a UK website that have some great speakers which are worth watching ...before you fall asleep in front of the mouse one night =) or on those sleepless nights!!!
    Also, Vicki it is FANTASTIC that you treatment is lasting so long...it gives us all hope that something can also last a longtime for us =)
    Hugs from over the seas.
    Jo

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    1. I recently read Anita Moorjani's book, maybe after you mentioned it, or maybe I was just surfing around Amazon which I like to do occassionally. We all have so much 'baggage' that we carry around which just weighs us down. I remember reading something that was saying that our greatest fear was actually how powerful each of us is as an individual. That is one of my problems, I was told so often how I was nothing that I bought into that whole concept because I didn't know anything different. As a consequence it has always worried me that I might be powerful and good at things and that is scary. It is one of the reasons I have found Mindfulness to be so useful because I can refocus myself when I start to panic, though I don't always do it in time.

      Are you still en France? How was Plum Village? Vicki xxx

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  2. You are totally worth it, just because you exist. I loved Anita's book and that's what inspired me to start my blog. I had mother issues, with similar results - feeling unworthy. If you'd like to check out my blog, click here...

    http://maggiemcdeeslife.blogspot.com/ come and talk to me. thank you for being here. Peace,
    maggie mcdee

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