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Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Is there really a point in being alive?

I am seriously questioning that there is any real point in my being alive.  At work my line manager hasn't even been bothered to find me somewhere to work on a permanent basis, so I have no where to leave anything and have to carry it around with me when ever I leave the public room I have been permitted to work in.  This is now becoming a room for students to use, and lessons are being taught when I am trying to work, and so I have had to leave but have no where else to go.

Yesterday I went to the Post Office to send off a package and I parked just behind the disabled bays, which were full, for about 10 minutes tops but I displayed by Blue Badge disabled parking badge.  As I got back to the car the traffic warden was walking away having issued me with a £70 parking fine.

I no longer feel that it is worth making an effort to keep going.  This has been the straw that has broken this camel's back.  I will no longer even attempt to go into town and frequent the shops.  I will no longer make myself walk to the nearest supermarket because I need to get some exercise and also because weight bearing exercise is good for the bones, it is also good for the environment that I don't drive.  I no longer feel as though I would be able to attempt to go anywhere where there might be even the slightest parking problem for risk of getting a parking fine, and also the expense and waste of petrol to try and find somewhere to park.

I am so lonely and isolated ... what is the point?  Everyone is always too busy ... and I just don't think that life is worth living as I find it harder and harder to get around.  I just can't be bothered to try and motivate myself any more.

2 comments:

  1. Vicki, sometimes we have to stop looking inside our box. Sometimes, we have to stick out our head and our hands and reach out. My daughter has had breast cancer and have to go a total mastectomy for her left breast. We thought she was not bothered by it until one day, she spoke out and said she wants to avail of the breast augmentation in perth. We were speechless mainly because, we had no clue. But then, seeing her eyes that she needed that, we supported her.

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  2. You live your life, you get sad sometimes, you get happy sometimes. You might me be rich, you might me poor. You might become successful, you might fail in life. You might find love or not. You might die old or young. You want success, happiness.... But what is the point? There really is no point unless YOU create one. No one really tells anyone of us what to do after a certain age. So try to start with beauty clinic Bunbury to create meaningful goals and pursue them, in the process discovering ourselves and becoming better.

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