I am seriously questioning that there is any real point in my being alive. At work my line manager hasn't even been bothered to find me somewhere to work on a permanent basis, so I have no where to leave anything and have to carry it around with me when ever I leave the public room I have been permitted to work in. This is now becoming a room for students to use, and lessons are being taught when I am trying to work, and so I have had to leave but have no where else to go.
Yesterday I went to the Post Office to send off a package and I parked just behind the disabled bays, which were full, for about 10 minutes tops but I displayed by Blue Badge disabled parking badge. As I got back to the car the traffic warden was walking away having issued me with a £70 parking fine.
I no longer feel that it is worth making an effort to keep going. This has been the straw that has broken this camel's back. I will no longer even attempt to go into town and frequent the shops. I will no longer make myself walk to the nearest supermarket because I need to get some exercise and also because weight bearing exercise is good for the bones, it is also good for the environment that I don't drive. I no longer feel as though I would be able to attempt to go anywhere where there might be even the slightest parking problem for risk of getting a parking fine, and also the expense and waste of petrol to try and find somewhere to park.
I am so lonely and isolated ... what is the point? Everyone is always too busy ... and I just don't think that life is worth living as I find it harder and harder to get around. I just can't be bothered to try and motivate myself any more.