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Thursday, 19 July 2012

Tonight is a full moon

Which may explain why I have had a rather hyper day, or maybe it is the meditation that has been making me feel so good today.  I have even figured out how to add extra pages to my blog so I can post some more things about me and hopefully include some information that I think is important.  I had noticed these extra pages on other blogs and was wondering how I could do that as well, and preferably without losing the entire thing.

This morning I had a call from Macmillan Cancer Support in reply to my interest in a survey they are doing about being on your own and having cancer.  For those of you who don't know it Macmillan is the biggest cancer support charities in the UK.  I have been one of their Cancer Voices for a while, but so far I have only reviewed books and other literature that they provide to cancer patients, carers and health care professionals.  We had a very interesting conversation, which had the added advantage of stopping me doing the washing up :O) though of course I had to go back to that afterwards.  [Why is it that when ever you empty the washing up bowl you find something else that needs washing up?]  One thing that I said is the I feel we need to come out of the closet a bit more about cancer.  Why can't we talk about it like it is a normal thing when it affects so many?  Other people can bore you to tears about their pregnancy, or are treated normally if they break a leg ... but have cancer and you become an out cast.  A sort of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' of illnesses.

Because I grew up with a father who was so ill I have always considered illness to be a perfectly normal part of everyday life.  Others have had little or no experience of illness and seem to be completely thrown when you say you have cancer.  After all it is only cancer.  I haven't grown another head or turned into an alien;  my eyes are still in the normal place and not on antenna that have sprouted out of the top of my head.  They predict that one in three people will have a personal experience of cancer, and one in nine women will develop breast cancer during their lives.  This is main-stream people, not some weird cult.  It is even said that everyone has cancer cells in their body, it's just that some people don't develop a tumour, or the disease.  So why is it such a DADT subject?

It was also good to know that one of the biggest cancer charities is actually taking an interest in those of us who have cancer and are on our own.  It is never an easy thing to have, but sometimes I envy those who have someone to go home to each day, and to remind them that there is a normal life out there.  At times I get very depressed and this is made worse by being on my own, not having someone to shout at, or ask when supper is going to be ready?  Did you iron my shirt?  To do things with, to distract you from the fact of having cancer.  On your own you can dwell on this too much and not have someone to snap you out of it and into a different headspace.  On the other hand I know how hard it is to deal with someone else's illness and the potential loss, but I do dwell on the idea that no one will miss me, or even notice that I am not there any more.

Wasn't I just typing about how good I felt today?  And I do.  Now I must get ready to go and howl at the moon ... howwwwwuulllllllllll.


  1. Howl away..... I'm going to see if the clouds have cleared a bit in New York. I'll join you in howling.

    I'm here... I'm listening and just know you aren't alone. I just wish I could be a visitor in ways other than a computer screen...

    Gentle hugs and much love,


  2. I am howling, too. I think it's a New moon here in the US and it's really cloudy, so I can only IMAGINE the light of the moon shining on us all at the same time, joining our hands and our lives together, glowing with love and warmth.
    Maggie McDee