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Sunday, 20 May 2012

Getting some order into my life

Why is it that when I try and tidy up and get some order into my surroundings that it seems to come back a bite me?  The more I tidy, the more there seems to be to tidy no matter how much I throw out.  I was really making headway with my 'office', where this computer is, and for a while I could actually see some desk top.  Now!  Pow!  It is all back with a vengence.

Part of it is the fact that I find it difficult to throw things away in the first place.  My parent's motto was 'keep it, it might come in useful', but I have a lot of things in this house which I have not touched since I moved here 18 years ago, and which I know will mean nothing to anyone else.  So why is it so hard to get rid of it?  Is it because getting rid of it means that I have been hanging on to useless things for too many years; and that it is not only useless things that I have been hanging on to either.  Is it because betting rid of it means accepting that I will not live forever?  Or is it the idea that I mean so little to everyone that no one will want to cherish the things that have meant a lot to me?  But does any of this really matter?

Isn't it really memories that mean the most?  It is memory that holds the meaning and value of an object, whether or not it has any intrinsic value.  It is memory that holds the dimension of bringing the object to life by giving it a time, place and emotion which makes it special.  The object is just the physical manifestation of the memory.

Getting rid of stuff also makes me feel guilty that I have accumulated more than I really need in life.  After all it is the memories that really have value, not the artifacts.

Not that all of this really helps me with my problem.  The first thing I need to decide is where do I start?

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